I didn't vote for either George Bush I don't tear the tags off my mattresses til I get home I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores I'm likely to have a different hair style every time you see me I only use the rail when I walk down the stairs 30% of the time ( I love to walk the line ya know) I'll make you laugh I've never been in one of Jenna Jameson's movies I'll never under cook the eggs I'll never drink your last beer I can make a mean pot of chili I'll pretend I didn't see you look at that dude with muscles bigger than mine I'll always be impressed with how strong you are I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops I recycle I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop I won't steal the vicoden out of your medicine cabinet I'll take care of you when you're sick and sometimes just because I think you're the shit I'll make fun of you I come with my own set of ear plugs in case of snoring I can give a kick ass back rub I haven't been a house guest of O.J. Simpson I can't stand soaps I pump my own gas I don't give a sh*tif you break a nail I've got cookies I don't chew tobacco I take a shower every day, twice even sometimes I like it when you pull my hair I'll let you beat me at pool I'll keep working until I chip away at your walls I don't care that you go out with the girls I don't eat crackers in bed too often I think it's hot when you come home all dirty from playing hard I like it when dogs sleep in the bed I can't stand the mall I don't care what music we listen to in the car I've never eaten a bon-bon in my life My closet comes equipped with a sh*tload of hoodies I'd never ask you to go to lunch with my mother When you wash the dishes it turns me on My heart will jump every time you walk through the door I don't care if you cut your toe nails in the living room I'll save everything you ever give me I won't ever forget your birthday, and remind you when mine is coming I think Project Runway is entertaining You just can't stop reading this! I've never even seen one episode of Sons of Anarchy or Gilmore Girls I always use my nails to scratch a lottery ticket I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know My friends are hot I don't have hardly any girl friends I think pizza and a game at the sports bar down the street is the ideal date I won't **** your friends I won't **** your sister What the hell is "in the box"? I always open a window when I paint I've never been on Americas Most Wanted The only drama I have any part of is on t.v. I don't care if you watch your girly movies with me I know how to make a fire I've got secret tattoos My kisses will take your breath away I didn't vote for the 25 ft smoking law I don't care if you leave your socks on You'll never have to do your laundry again My best friend isn't a guy I can't stand John Mayer My burritos are the bomb I never drive faster than 30 mph in a school zone My weird habits you'll find adorable You'll sleep better when I'm next to you I have a Netflix and HBO GO membership I'd **** Brad Pitt too I'll thank you every time you open the door I'll never waste your love I'll laugh at every joke even when it's not funny I'd never give you sh*tin front of your friends It gets better every time Use as much salt as you want I don't care I won't ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch I'll help you find your keys I don't stop and ask for directions either I try not to pick my nose, or butt in public We can watch your movie first I've never owned anything Batman I don't need batteries I once ate a cricket I eat red meat I'll clean the house perfect every time your mom comes I met Ozzy Osbourne once I got suspended in high school 1 time My family is just as ****ed up as yours I'll always want more I like horror movies I smell pretty good most of the time I don't litter When I can I give to charity I can be ready in 10 minutes or less I lose at arm wrestling every time I look both ways before I cross the street I never look directly into the sun You'll look cute in my shirt I'm not a virgin You're hotter and more hilarious than anyone I know I'm old enough to remember Kurt Cobain, Oklahoma City, Columbine and 9/11 I've never left socks on the floor in my life I like it when you call me an ***hole I can balance a check book I'll help you not to forget your moms birthday I would never yell "fire" in a crowded theatre I"m really good at sneaking food into the movies I won a cursive writing contest in fourth grade I'll never say 'nothings wrong' when there really is I'll hold your hair back when you puke I've never cried over spilt milk I have never stabbed anyone in the eye I can count to 100 by 5's I've never smuggled drugs out of the country I don't care if you eat dinner without a shirt I never overload the washer What else have you got to do? I know that whipped cream goes on more than sundaes I've never auditioned for American Idol I don't eat yellow snow I like it when you talk to your friends about me in bed My sunday morning breakfasts will change your life I'll understand if you get jealous I'm just that good I never had sexual relations with Bill Clinton or anyone named Bill ever You're getting very sleepy... I've never been on Jerry Springer I may have already won $10,000,000. You won't be able to get me out of your head I know that sticks are better than automatics I'll let you drive every time if you want I buy a new toothbrush every time the blue wears down I know that objects in the mirror are bigger than they appear I would never send you to the store for condoms I've never gotten caught lip syncing on SNL I have a $3.24 credit at PayLess Shoes I have clean socks that you can borrow if you run out I never leave the engine running while I'm pumping gas I never run with scissors I've taken the Coke/Pepsi challenge and won Almost every time I have a winning bottle top I know how to keep a secret If you spell something wrong I'll fix it I've never failed a survey I can almost every time find Waldo I never put my fingers in the light socket I'm a pisces I have all my shots I've seen every episode of "Dexter" I'm not a doctor and I've never played one on t.v. either I don't care if you eat off my plate None of my friends are girls I used to have sex with When you're sleeping I'll always try to be quiet