First off yes, I am married and yes, I play solo. I am not trying to hide anything from her or from you. What we have is rare, uncommon, and unconventional. It was a long road and several years to get to where we are today. We know who we are, what we want, we are happy with what we have, and we are better for it. When we got married, neither of us was very wild. I was more adventurous in sex, she was more subdued. After our was born, she went on a new form of birth control that was inserted. As the years passed, her sex drive waned and eventually sex became painful for her. It tore me apart. Something that I enjoyed (that we had enjoyed together), that gave me pleasure, euphoria, and reduced my stress, caused her unbearable pain. She would be sore for a week at a time. I hated doing that to her but at the same time, the tension built up inside of me. I get edgy without sexual release. We had a real Catch 22 situation; to satisfy myself, I had to hurt her; to satisfy her, I had to lose part of myself. She didn’t want to admit there was a problem at first. She thought it was age (she was 36 when things were at the worst). Her doctor told her there were no side effects of the birth control. She believed him, I didn’t. We tried toys, we tried lubes, we tried sex books, I offered to find a couple to join us, hoping that something would get her excited. She didn’t like any of them. I offered to have her just use toys on me, no penetration on her. She wasn’t keen on that. Finally, I was able to convince her that maybe the problem was her birth control. I agreed to get a vasectomy and once I was cleared she would have the device removed. While we are waiting for my procedure we continued to talk about sex and what we wanted. She realized that I desired more in sex than she did. I had grown and expanded what I wanted and what I wanted to try. After talking more, we decided that after I got the all clear, we would open our relationship so that I could go out and explore. After I got the all clear, she made the appointment to have her insert removed. It took a few months, but her drive started to come back (woohoo!!). Sex wasn’t painful for her (WOOOHOOO!!!!). We were able to play together and find what felt good for her. Things were going very well. There would still be a few nights when she was a little sore or tired from the day and she was nice enough to tell me to go out and have fun. I have offered to bring her with me to a club, couples have asked if would both play, but so far, she has not been interested. I have made it clear to her at the clubs she does not have to participate and no means no. I’m trying not to push too hard with the subject, but to let her know it is okay. Lately, the soreness has started to come back a little. Not like it was for a week at a time but for a couple of days. She has a doctor appointment in January of 2018 and she wants to wait until then to see what he says. I know that it is common for a couple to play together or not at all, but this arrangement has worked for us. I offer to tell her everything I have done, though usually she doesn’t want the vivid details, I will tell her if I have meet anyone and give her more of a PG-13 version simply because she doesn’t get off on it like I do. Bottom line is, I love her and I love what we have. I don’t want to lose that. What I do here will not jeopardize what we have, if it looks like drama will complicate things, it ends. She is more important. I am shy to start but warm up with good conversation. Yes, I am 40 but I get told I look early 30's (20's if they are trying to flirt). We have a rule that I don't put face pics on a profile in case a site gets hacked. I do have a beard, no it is not one of those big bushy hipster beards. I keep it short and trimmed. Without the beard, I look even younger. I don't have a cock that is 2 feet long and 3 feet around and I don't look like a Ken doll. If that's what you are looking for, I wish you well. I am a good looking guy, hwp, and if you want to to evaluate my cock, I send those out by request. Yes, I keep the downstairs trimmed short. Since I am married and I don't want to bring something home, I do use condoms.

My Ideal Person I like a little bit of everything. I am more here to help you, what you want to fulfill and enjoy. If you are having a good time, so will I. I am very eclectic in my tastes and I don't think any one person or couple can fulfill them all. It is difficult for me to pigeonhole myself into a category. So let me know what you'd like to do and I can probably accommodate.

I'd like to know more about what you want. I see a lot of profiles here that are very vague but they seem to be looking for something specific. Just open up, let me know what you are into. I'm not old enough to be set in my ways.

As a married man playing solo I know there won't be a lot of takers. I do understand you wanting to avoid drama. I want to avoid that also.

Thank you for checking out my profile and keep having fun!