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the Irony
the Irony well 40 now ~ spent my whole life seriously knowing fucked up people ~ being the weird lady friend who always had the creative solution ~ or ~ naiveingly ~ unwittingly allowed them to drain~ 3 ounces of life from me ~ cant get my time back & hey unlike them I have never been to jail & never had who I didnt mind raising ~{post parent now- Grunge Cool Milf now Michoone{ing} it } ~ I had no idea I was going to Grow up & be a sorted Lady {avoiding coffee as I wish to stay in my bubble} I even look good in my Thermals ~xx ~ as you do when in England} ~ So many people want me to join their battle & get upset when they realised my nails come first now ~ oh Hello excuse me ~ im not wearing baggy trouser anymore or skateboarding or going on holiday ~ I take care of my Hussle my way as you can see ~ there is no room for being a fucked up woman in my life ~ trying to dig deep & trying to find a picture of myself where it represents me making a bad decision about myself or life ~ {cant find one shame ~ thats explains the isolation ~ the sanity behind my vanity is real ~ just for the records of record ~ if I didnt ~ hold onto my brain ~ Lord Knows what type of woman I would be now ~ "I cant write the list ~ people would call me wicked" excuse me for brushing my teeth excuse me for having the I could afford to keep excuse me for learning to drive excuse me for keeping my home excuse me for keep my life simply elegant excuse me for not going to jail with you excuse me for loving my nail vanish ~ im fed up with being really cool & feeling punished for being real ~ you wouldnt like me you know ~ I may not want to have fucked up teeth in care driving offences on my record feel homeless look unself kept wearing fake nails like its real ~ ~ I like Boris Johnson ~ he was kind to me not once many times ~ my emotional professional reference point as a Grown woman who had fun working in London ~ starts & ends with Him ~ not anyone who else in my ADULT life ~ I dont weave or hijab to get my shit done ~ there are some woman on Earth ~ I dont to know ~ I dont give a shit what your daddies name is or what Brazilian girl you had to buy hair from ~ a Proud London Born British woman today tomorrow & next week ~ dont tell me about slavery & Britain did this & that ~ Boris didnt make me feel like I needed a weave on my head to get anywhere in life ~& not going to change my mind about How much I love Britain I cant do it & end up like no teeth no home no nail vanish no car no ambition I cant & to be honest my nail vanish ~ Vanity ~ there is a life called ~ not my Problem & this looks sexy on me ~ xxxxxxxx ~ I have been beautiful all my life & now 40 ~ that is where I lay my concerns just being pretty Lovely Beautiful ~ ok with Men being men I like that ~ |
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im not good enough please dont talk to me if it means you will loose friends I understand its embaressing to be me let alone curse your life for knowing me
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with my face I can hide embarrassing blushes
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I can try & smile see how long it will last
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the reality is ~ its im trying to see the light when really I know the world hate my guts & the fact I breath British Air I hold on to it ~ alone I have too I have not met anyone who is Proud I have Air to Share Earth Fire & Water
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woman like me not allowed to have good men in our lives oh know not her smiles oh now look at me yuck that real hair yuck that she thinks she is really english face oh my please I do not want to dirty your doorstep not me oh dear ~ I feel bad being alive its sad its sad because had I worn a weave & bleached my skin ~ my life would have been different ~ had I not cared for that young baby who my now missing friend had ~ my life would have been different had I not care about my heart I would have been dead ~ its really horrible I think just coming to terms witht he fact that im the horrble woman of the earth thats why I do not go out ~ I know what people think of me the face the pull when I have walked into rooms ~ the artistic jealousy of their face ~ hurts me too ~ yet im still not good enough ~ its sad when you meet people who would rather put a bullet in your head than kiss you ~ hurts feel unlucky not allowed to smile ~ & I thought I was a woman like her ~ didnt realise I was the beast from the south east nop point driving my car the edge of the clfff is tempting its just embarrassing sometimes ~ " the care I take in myself ~ I wish to han* myself at times just so I dont get to the point where I do not care about myself I have already been locked in my home for 7 years ~ the internet
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Itry to hide how really bad & sad it is see that smiles hiding hurt &embaressing shame of being a woman on thebottom of the love n light pile ~ its shame full to be honest ~ im actually really sorry I am I speak fluent london English & im 40 now ~my wings are unique to me &
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